


Failsafe

by carolinecrane



Series: Retrograde [6]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-19
Updated: 2004-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6305761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Speed starts to realize just how far in over his head he's gotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failsafe

"Hey."

Speed looks up to find Calleigh smiling at him -- or rather, smiling in his direction. Her gaze is fixed on his neck, and he feels himself flush as he reaches up to cover the red mark he knows she's looking at. And it shouldn't matter, because she's known practically since the beginning and he knows she won't say anything to anybody else. This is the first time in a month that she's come close to acknowledging it even to him, though, and he's not sure what to make of it.

"Hey. Did H give you the run-down?"

She nods and crouches down next to him, dipping her head to hide it but he catches her smile anyway. And he can do this -- he can focus on the case and pretend he doesn't know Calleigh's laughing at him, that it doesn't bother him that she knows where he's been spending his nights. Just like it doesn't bother him that he can practically hear her thinking the word 'cute'. He rolls his eyes at himself and shifts away from her, toward his kit and suddenly disposable rubber gloves are the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

"Did you find the bullet?" she asks, and he relaxes a little when he realizes she's not going to press him for details about him and Tyler. Calleigh's not the type -- she keeps her personal life to herself, and she understands all about discretion. It's one of the things he likes best about her, but even though he knows she won't say anything, it still bothers him that she knows.

"No," he answers, turning back to her and gesturing toward the wreck the shooter left in the hotel room. "Could be anywhere in this mess."

"I imagine that was the idea." She sighs, resigning herself to the fact that they're going to be sifting through broken furniture and upturned mattresses for a while.

He rubs absently at the bruise on his neck as he stands up and surveys the room. And he's not looking forward to a conversation about not leaving evidence on him where people can see it -- so far Tyler's been pretty discreet, but they've never talked about it and he doesn't know if that's how Tyler is, or if it's for Speed's benefit. Tyler's a pretty outgoing guy, after all, comfortable with people and sure of himself even back in high school when everyone was supposed to be awkward.

Speed could tell just from the pictures in his yearbook that Tyler was the kind of guy who always seemed to know exactly what he was doing, even if it was just an act. He's not afraid to go for what he wants -- that much Speed knows for sure -- and he's probably not used to being low-key about his relationships.

But this is the kind of thing Speed tries not to think about, because once he starts thinking about what they're doing he remembers how long they've been sleeping together, and that's when the panic starts to set in. Because he wasn't looking for a relationship, especially not with someone he works with, but somehow they just fell into this one and he's not sure what to do about it.

He doesn't really want to _do_ anything; what he wants is to keep doing what they've been doing, spending time together without talking about it. He likes the sex a lot too, but that's part of the problem, because he likes it enough to stop being careful, and the mark on his neck is proof. So far Calleigh's the only one who's noticed -- at least she's the only one who's said anything -- but he knows that won't last long, and this is Miami, so it's not like he can just put on a turtleneck until the evidence fades. He moved to Miami because he never wanted to see snow again, but for the first time since high school he finds himself wishing it was cold enough to wear more clothes.

And it's just a hickey, but he knows if Delko notices he'll never hear the end of it. Nobody else will say anything, but they'll _think_ things, and the thought of his coworkers speculating about his personal life makes him want to crawl out of his skin. It's not that he's ashamed -- he's not -- he just doesn't think it's anybody's business what he does on his own time.

Lately what he's been doing on his own time involves Tyler more and more, whether they're hanging out at Tyler's place or having dinner or even watching Discovery Channel in Speed's living room. And it's nice to have someone to cook for; it's not something he gets to do that often, and he kind of likes it. They've spent more nights together than apart in the past month, and Speed tells himself it's just because work's been slow and he hasn't had to put in overtime, but he's starting to wonder if that's just an excuse he's been telling himself.

He's pretty sure that he could show up at Tyler's place in the middle of the night, that Tyler would let him in and take him to bed after a long, hot shower, then let him sleep in the next morning. Part of him thinks that sounds kind of nice, but the rest of him knows that's something couples do, and as far as he knows he and Tyler are just sleeping together. They're not really dating, because they never _go_ anywhere, unless the occasional dinner-before-sex counts as a date. And that's the real problem, because Speed's never been any good at this stuff and he doesn't really know the rules.

"Gotcha," Calleigh says from across the room, and he flinches when he remembers he's not alone. She's digging in one of the mattresses with a pair of tweezers, and a second later she produces the bullet they've been looking for. She straightens up and flashes a triumphant smile, and he can't help smiling back. "Standard .45. Guess I better get this back to the lab."

"Yeah," Speed answers, tugging his gloves off as he reaches for his kit. "I think I've got everything we can use from here for now. There are some surveillance videos from the hallway, I'll see if we can't get anything usable off those."

When he looks at her again her head's tilted to one side, her mouth twisted into a weird little smile. "You know what? I'll go with you."

"What about ballistics?"

"It'll keep. Besides, there might be a shot of our guy on those tapes, and if he's got the gun with him it'll save me some work."

He wants to argue, but he knows if he does she'll just start asking him a lot of questions he doesn't want to answer about why he doesn't want her going with him to the A/V lab. He doesn't need to ask to know why she wants to go, but he can't say anything about it without admitting the truth, so he just rolls his eyes and leads her out of the hotel room. They're working, after all, and while they're on a case their personal lives don't count. So as far as he's concerned they're just going back to the lab to examine evidence, and it doesn't matter who happens to be working in the A/V lab today.

Of course he knows exactly who's working today, and when they walk into the A/V lab his mind flashes back to a few hours ago when he watched Tyler pull on the ugly Hawaiian shirt he's wearing. And it's funny, because until Speed saw him naked for the first time he never would have imagined that such a great body was hiding under those baggy clothes. He's never asked Tyler why he dresses like that, but he's caught himself wondering plenty of times. He's not sure why he never asks -- sometimes it feels like too personal a question, but he's sucked the guy's dick, so his wardrobe probably isn't off limits.

Speed wills himself not to blush and hands the tape over, careful to avoid looking at either Tyler or Calleigh. And she's already sitting in the chair next to Tyler's, chatting him up about the case. Tyler's practically hanging on every word, smiling at all the right points and Speed is not jealous that he's flirting with Calleigh. He always flirts with Calleigh and she always flirts right back -- it's just the way they talk to each other. Speed's worse at flirting than he is at dating, so he'll never understand it, but he knows it's not a reason to be jealous.

Still, he feels a little like the third wheel standing there in the background, and he's glad when Tyler starts the tape and their attention's focused on the evidence again. They watch people come and go on the tape, the cleaning staff pushing carts from room to room and hotel guests coming back from breakfast, but there's nothing out of the ordinary and it's not long before Speed's mind starts wandering again.

He's standing right behind Tyler's chair, arms crossed over his chest to keep himself from leaning in, because even if Calleigh wasn't sitting right there he's still on the clock. Tyler's hair just brushes his collar, curling a little in the back and it's hard to believe he spent twenty minutes last night just licking that neck. They'd started out watching...something, but a few minutes into whatever it was he found himself stretched out on the couch with Tyler pinned underneath him and he doesn't even remember how it happened. He doesn't remember moving, but he does remember spending an hour just kissing every part of Tyler he could reach, hands in his hair and breathy little gasps when his mouth found a sensitive spot.

And he shouldn't be thinking about making out on the couch like a couple of...teenagers. He lets himself think the word, wincing a little because even after all this time it still feels a little like a betrayal. Not as much as it used to, though, and that's the part that scares him the most. Because Tyler's smart and they can talk about things that Speed thought nobody else would ever care about, and when Tyler doesn't know the science behind whatever it is he doesn't mind listening to Speed explain it.

"Tim."

He flinches at the sound of his name, tearing his gaze away from -- God, he's still staring at Tyler's neck -- to look at Calleigh. "Yeah?"

"Did you see that?"

"What?" he asks, and he's glad it's dark in the room because he can feel the heat creeping up his neck. He pretends he doesn't see Calleigh's smirk, pretends even harder that he doesn't notice Tyler watching him curiously, and forces himself to look at the screen.

"Looks like that might be our guy," Calleigh answers, and to her credit she manages to keep most of the laughter out of her voice. "The cleaning staff finished with all the rooms on this hallway about twenty minutes before he lets himself into that room, then he comes out ten minutes later carrying an armload of towels."

"Good place to conceal a weapon."

"Among other things," Calleigh says, standing up and pushing her hair back over her shoulders. "Do you want to run with this and I'll get on that bullet?"

"Yeah, sure." He stops himself from asking her why they didn't just do that in the first place because he already knows the answer, and he's afraid she'll say it right in front of Tyler. He doesn't let himself look at Tyler until she's gone, and even then he has trouble meeting Tyler's gaze. He lets out a heavy sigh and drops into the chair next to Tyler's, covering his face with his hands for a long moment before he forces himself to look up.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Speed answers. "Just a little wiped. It's a pretty heavy case."

The excuse sounds lame even to him, but Tyler just nods. Then his gaze shifts to Speed's neck for a second, just long enough to remind Speed of why he should get up and get back to work. "So you wanna take a break tonight? If you want to catch up on sleep or whatever."

And he knows what Tyler's saying -- knows he should take the out, put a little distance between them. Tyler's giving him permission, and he knows better than to expect an offer like that to come along more than once. He didn't plan for this to become a regular thing. He didn't plan for it to happen at all, but somehow they've started spending almost every night together. Like a standing date. Regular enough that Tyler just assumes he's going to show up tonight unless he says otherwise.

He should say yes, that he should go home and get some sleep, because even though he's not all that tired he's definitely in over his head. If they take a night off it'll be easier to take the next night off, then the next, until finally they're just...not. And it would be easy to say that he's too tired to be decent company, but he knows if he does he's just going to go home and think about it all night. He'll go home and think about Tyler, about what they could be doing, even if it's just watching that show about the actors on Bravo that Tyler likes so much.

"No." He stands up and takes an abortive step forward, stopping himself just before he reaches out to touch Tyler's shoulder. Another slip-up he can't afford, not if he doesn't want the whole lab talking about them. "No, I'm good. I gotta get back to it, though."

"Right." Tyler grins and turns back to his monitors, and Speed's not positive, but he's pretty sure he's missing something. "See you later."

He has a feeling he should say that he changed his mind, or maybe that he just remembered something he has to do and that he can't make it after all. Instead he backs toward the door, finally giving up when he figures out that Tyler's not going to turn around and look at him again. He shakes his head and forces himself out of the lab before he really embarrasses himself, because there's still a case to focus on and he can't afford any more distractions, but he can't help wondering what he just agreed to.


End file.
